Who's journey are you in?

Today morning as usual I went for a walk with my father in the park. As I was walking, I saw the same old man who 4 days back had overtaken me and I had given up on keeping pace with him then. So I thought, today I’m going to give him a tough competition. At least that way I’ll get motivated by him. So I increased the pace of my walking keeping my focus on the sound of his footsteps (btw he walked with havai chappals making that flapping sound, the one that normally irritates). 

Suddenly I saw that I was about to step on the ants colony which was on the pathway (and normally I am present to that). I got startled that I was about to step on the ants and kill them all.  When my attention is on my walking, I’m also present to the nature and looking down at what I’m stepping on also. That gives me a sense of being with my body, being with my walk and also being with all the nature around me. But the moment my attention went to overtaking that man who was oblivious of my intention, I missed on my joy and presence. 

At that time I said to myself “Slow down Padma, and be with your journey. Don’t go into that man’s journey. It’s not important to overtake someone and lose out on the fun and joy of your path and miss on life”. This gave me so much peace that I slowed down and started noticing my steps again. But by then I had lost count of my rounds. The cost of focusing on someone’s speed and wanting to overtake them. 

In life too when I hear my friends sharing of the success they get, I get this feeling of insecurity and jealousy. But I tell them “I’m so happy for you”. Such a fake acknowledgment 🤦‍♀️.  And immediately there’s this drive to want to do something to overtake them. And a sense of failure of the self. This is so automatic that I feel ashamed of myself that I’m feeling jealous on my dear friends success. When I discussed with some friends on this, they said they also feel the same. Oh wow..... then I realised this is human conditioning. 

But today morning I realised I have my journey to focus on and they have theirs. I get my success when I’m ready and they get theirs when they are ready. And these times are different for each of us. And also that success becomes fulfilling when I’m actually there in the journey being present to “what I see, learn, how I do, when and why” of my journey. 

And so I’m back into my pace of my journey which gives me a sense of being in my life and in my nature.  And I am peaceful for myself and others. Look at yourself, are you in your journey or someone else's? Be authentic and honest with yourself... Your mind will deny... But look how automatically our mind wanders and goes into another's journey. Let's all come back home to our own journeys.